Who do you trust to tell you the truth about reality?

On this question of questions, you really DO have a choice: Whose perspective, heart and mind will you allow to shape your own thinking and feeling about everything that matters most?

Miranda Richardson as Rita Skeeter from ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’ (2005)

Imagine you are near the end of your life, sitting somewhere lovely - close to people you love and who love you. And someone shows up your door knocking - an honest-to-goodness writer wanting to interview you! It turns out they’re writing a book about YOUR LIFE - how exciting is that?

You’re flattered that someone wants to share your story, until you hear the title they’re considering: “The untold story of [Your name here]… the Actual Truth That’s Been Covered Up Until Now”

It turns out this writer has already done a few interviews. She’s spoken to every one of your ex-boyfriend (or girlfriends) from high school and college, along with former roommates, and one neighbor in particular who really didn’t like you. She’s done other homework too - monitoring social media posts all the way back to something dumb you once said and something else you had no idea would be controversial.

She’s heard some interesting stories, for sure. “Have you spoken to any of my friends as well?” you ask.

“Yes, well…hopefully,” the reporter responds. “Sometime…I do plan to do a few of those too. But don’t worry, when everyone reads this, they’ll know it’s based on the just-the-facts, the actual details of your history. Something they can really trust to deliver the truth about YOU.”

Newly apprehensive to learn a little more, you ask the writer’s name. “Rita Skeeter,” she responds.

Aha…hmmm…now that name does ring a bell…

For the uninitiated, Rita Skeeter was a journalist eager to write all kinds of stories about Harry Potter in the hit J.K Rowling series. No matter what happens, though - no matter what actually happened - she manages to put a dark spin on it - one of suspicion, drama, and controversy … just enough to make the good-hearted young hero look just the opposite: conniving, reckless, and downright dastardly.

But, of course, the truth is that Rita Skeeter isn’t made up at all. There are Rita Skeeters every direction you look, on every topic, writing and creating content about every person of importance, including and especially about the things that matter most.

A sophisticated smear

During graduate school at the University of Illinois, I was the only active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in my program - with most people having little familiarity of the faith. So I was excited when a four-hour documentary on the church was announced by a respected documentarian (a real reporter!) who had done another film on Pope John Paul II and the aftermath of 9/11.

This seemed an ideal chance to show my classmates and professors what my faith was all about…. So, I sent my department an email letting them know about the documentary. I was genuinely excited at a chance for them to learn the truth about us….until I actually watched it.

The opening episode delved into Joseph Smith’s early beginnings. I was shocked to hear eerie music, photos chosen with dark shading - and uniquely suspicious narration highlighted.

Having ensured my entire department had a personal invitation to watch this, I was downright heartsick. Rather than a fair-minded representation of our people, I quickly realized this was the the most sophisticated smear I’d ever seen of the Church - especially because most people watching would see it as anything but that: instead, “factual” and “credible” and “honest” and “comprehensive” and “objective.”

The series was anything but that. A later episode showed young children singing in the church ‘primary’ program as an example of how we were presumably brainwashing children. I wrote a follow-up email to my entire department letting them know how deeply I felt the show had misrepresented us.

We’re not alone in getting misrepresented, of course. There are many other topics, peoples and events getting similar treatments - from other committed people of faith (Catholics, Evangelical, Muslim and Jewish smears have a long and painful history), to horrifying portrayals of ethnic minorities and those who question dominant health perspectives, to anyone who happens to be making political decisions in the U.S. at any given moment in time.

Regarding my own faith, this particular documentary was one of literally thousands of things created about our own faith that purport to “tell the truth” about who we are, who Joseph Smith is, what The Book of Mormon us - offering to be the one giving the “full story” … the “untold story” the “real truth.”

A genuine choice we all get to make

It’s this very moment where many of us are tempted to say things like “well, now that I’ve been exposed to the challenging realities, I better have integrity to it - and be honest with myself with this truth I’ve now come to know.”

Others speak in a language of “authenticity” - portraying the moment of encountering such “painful truth” as part of a noble journey to enlightenment.

(It’s worth pointing out that Jesus didn’t teach His disciples to be “true to what you feel inside.” He taught followers to be true to Him).

Yet in fairness, we all like to believe that our experiences, our analysis, our exposure to certain information COMPELS us to certain conclusions. According to this view, you really have no choice in the matter. You were exposed to these hard truths. Now you need to do something about them.

But if it’s honesty we truly care about, it’s important to look a little closer. Because, this popular portrayal is not entirely honest. On a purely empirical basis of what’s going on in our day-to-day experiences, they never were - and never will be - simply about you choosing whether or not to “be true to what you feel or see or feel.”

The choice is more complicated than that. Consider this: There are many ways of thinking about life and reality and identity and the universe - perspectives held by competing schools of thought throughout history. And YOU get to choose which of them you trust and believe to be true.

More accurately, you get to choose who you trust to tell you the truth about reality.

Who and what will that be? Will it be that person pumping out TikTok videos sharing the shocking truth about things you used to believe? Is it the podcaster telling Scary Stories revealing even more details about how despicable those people really are (yes, people you used to know and love)? Is it that long essay detailing a shocking number of unsettling questions about the history of something you used to hold dear?

OR….or, is there someone and something else you may be able to trust - perhaps starting with the “still small voice” you can once again recognize as more reliable than the dramatic earthquake-and-fire-like drama coming at you from all directions in our media environment.

Or how about mothers, fathers, grandparents and other elders with long life experience who have taught you things that matter over your earlier life - things they give you their word have lasting, even eternal significance?

How about individuals throughout history (up to this very moment) who are brave enough to raise their voice in defiance of self-absorbing cultural norms dominant all around us - insisting upon a higher truth relished by higher beings that will lead to a higher happiness.

Who will you choose to trust the most?

President Russell M. Nelson, the 17th president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sits with President Dallin H. Oaks, first counselor (left), and President Henry B. Eyring, second counselor, at a press conference in Salt Lake City in January 2018.

Don’t let yourself get played

Don’t take the bait, dear friends - and don’t allow your loved ones to take the bait. The reality is that every situation and every person - no matter how truly good or bad - can be framed up and told in completely different ways.

And for any of us, the right argument can turn you - or people we love - against the most beautiful and important things in the world. Even Jesus Christ himself - with all the miracles, the teaching, the ministry - was portrayed as coming from evil: “This fellow doth not cast out devils, but by Beelzebub the prince of the devils” (Matthew 12:24).

Be especially cautious about anyone taking various details from the historical record (about anything) and framing them in a uniquely cynical, suspicious, dark, accusing manner. And presenting it as “the truth!”

How easy that would be to do about any of our lives, if Rita Skeeter got her hands on the right details?!

“Every statement of fact is entangled in an attitude,” once said respected historian Richard Bushman. “There aren’t just simple facts, they’re always presented in some way or another.”

He then applied this to Latter-day Saint history, about which he’s a recognized expert: “So, it’s possible that if you’re feeling angry with Joseph Smith or disillusioned with Joseph Smith, to tell a story that makes him look bad.” Bushman expressed concern with those who are “taking all the material they can and making it as bitter and poisonous as possible.”

“But when these stories are put in another framework,” he continued, the history “doesn’t look so bad. We see him how he fits in.”

“It’s easy and attractive to always be the cynic,” said Yuval Levin recently, “to be the outsider who thinks that he or she is more sophisticated, knows the real deal and can see through the claims and ambitions and ideals of the group.”

Levin is director of Social, Cultural, and Constitutional Studies at the American Enterprise Institute and Editor of the magazine National Affairs. He recalls one lesson he took from working as a policy adviser to George W. Bush and many other senior political leaders. “I’ve learned that cynicism is naive. It’s never really quite right. It doesn’t actually explain why people do what they do.”

An experiment with light and goodness

Summarizing this all, if you absorb alarmist influencers on Instagram or podcasters who are cynical, dark, angry, suspicions, skeptical, and decidedly disparaging…don’t be surprised if you start feeling the same.

If you drink poison, don’t be surprised if it, well, poisons you!

Let’s get better at READING PEOPLE’S HEARTS. Are you reading or watching or listening to content about reality, the world, relationships, love, faith or politics that was created by someone who always seems to be ANGRY, CYNICAL, DISGUSTED, FULL OF GRIEVANCE, SCARED, ATTACKING, and ACCUSING.

Then stop. Please stop. Today.

And if you remain today unsure about what’s true or real, try an experiment I like to share with people. For the next few weeks, pour goodness, beauty, positivity, and light-drenched content into your mind and heart. Then see where that leaves you after a dedicated amount of time?

As you can see, there really is a choice for all of us about who to trust to come into our heart and mind and shape how we see everything else.

Who will you allow to do that in your own life?