Sam's talk at Emma's funeral
My son asked to speak at our baby girl's memorial service. It was the most important moment of the day for me. One day, I hope to be more like him!
Emma Ann Hess was born on October 5th, two thousand twenty. My brother Joseph came downstairs that morning waking me up and my brother William to tell us Mommy had a baby. It was probably seven-thirty, and we told him to stop teasing us and go away.
He said, “no it’s true.”
Later that day our Dad told us that when Emma was born she wasn't able to breath and she started to turn purple. Our Dad said a prayer - and after that, she was able to breathe.
Even though Emma had a brain injury, that was still a miracle that gave our family the chance to spend almost three years with her.
Thank you for everything you’ve been doing for us. I’m surprised that so many cousins came from really far - including Kael, Haven and Desmond, Jace, Kaden and Alise, London, Jude and Max, Sweden and Addie, Wesley, Isaac, etc.
Me and my brothers are happy to see Max too, Christina’s new husband, who came all the way from New York.
Papa and Grandma Moore have been playing with us this week and helping with laundry. And Papa and Nannie canceled their vacation so they could come home and give us a hug. Georgia and Kathy even came and decorated our porch with orange colors and pumpkins.
So many of you brought dinner too - which is probably a lot of work. You even asked us what our favorite meals are - and probably brought more treats than Mommy wanted. But we’ve been happy.
I want to share how Emma helped our family. She taught us so much. And gave us so many blessings. Emma communicated without talking or doing anything. She was just there.
We grew closer as a family. And she helped others around us too - like our friends Alisia and Andrew and Tyson.
Emma helped so many people. She helped us all feel a lot closer to God.
I didn’t always know how to pray. It used to be like, “thank you for the day. Help us to sleep well. Help us not to be mean” skimming through it fast.
It’s not like that anymore. I try to take my time - sometimes going into our guest room so I can be alone. I started doing that because of Emma.
When I was feeling sad about Emma, I would sometimes ask to be alone so I could pray next to her - just the two of us.
I would pray by her and for her. Those were special times for me.
We tried to be more kind and obedient because of Emma. We tried to clean the kitchen more so we could help Mommy.
Everyone in our family wanted to make more changes so we could be closer to God.
There are things we sometimes all love more than God. Me and my brothers started collecting Pokémon a couple of years ago. But I felt like I started to love Pokémon more than God - and when I was praying, I felt like that was blocking me from being close to God.
I knew there was a lot of stuff more important than Pokémon. So I gave up Pokémon. Mom said, “Sam, are you serious?” But it felt peaceful and right.
I felt like I needed to give that up for Emma. It was still hard - especially when others brought out their Pokémon. But it’s helped me feel closer to God.
I mean, I still like Spiderman and Star Wars and Lebron James - but they are not as important as God is.
I wasn’t sure I should share this - because I wanted the focus to be on Emma, and not me.
But Dad said it would be okay to share.
I wanted to help her by doing things like this, but instead of helping her - Emma helped me. She’s the one who did something for me. She helped me to know that nothing - not anything - is more important than God.
Knowing that helps me a lot. September twenty first, I saw Mommy running to the car holding Emma - and she was trying to help Emma breathe. I felt scared.
We didn’t know what would happen - but Jen, Jocelyn, Mandi and Amelia came over and helped us feel better.
Later on, Mommy and Daddy came home. We thought they were going to tell us Emma was okay. But they told us that she had passed away. I felt shocked. I ran into Mommy’s room crying - and she and Daddy comforted me.
I used to not like holding Emma because she had peed on me three times. But one Sunday - about two weeks ago - I set a goal to hold her more so I could spend more time with her.
I love playing soccer, basketball and wrestling - and wish Emma could have played them with us. We were also planning to have brownies and ice cream one day together. So it’s hard not to have her here for that.
But maybe she can be with us in other ways. Me, my dad and my brother William went to Ragtime with our friend Tyson last week. There were so many beautiful songs, and I got emotional half way through. I felt that Emma was with us there.
When people die they don’t stop existing. Their spirits continue to live - in a happy place without pain. I bear my testimony that Emma is alive and running around and she is helping other people who are sad, because she is not hurting anymore.
I know that Emma is healed, just not the way we hoped. It was her time to leave the earth. And I know she is in a better place and she is alive.
Our friend Jenny Painter told Mommy that even when everyone was sad at the hospital, she got a strong feeling that Emma was happy and standing there saying “I’m okay. I’m good.” And that she wanted us to know that - and that she is grateful to be able to move and run.
Our friends Anna Marie and Shauna have told us the same thing - and that Emma wants us to be comforted.
Dad used to tell Emma a story about a princess stuck in a castle - who couldn’t get away from the castle without any help. Emma is now free from her castle.
I was named after my Uncle Sam - who died 21 years ago. A couple of years ago, I had a really strong feeling that I wanted to meet Sam one day.
I miss Emma, but she is happy and gets to see Grandma Martha and Uncle Sam. And Iris too, who is Uncle John and Auntie Katie’s baby who died when she was really little. I’ve been feeling like Iris and Emma are best friends.
I also think she’s happy to see our neighbor Gordy, who we loved to visit. But I think she’s been especially excited to see Jesus and Heavenly Father.
We saw Emma’s body yesterday for the first time, but that’s not Emma. I know she is alive and running around in her spirit. Now we know there’s someone else to look after us. We’re excited for the day when Emma comes back and we can spend some time with her.
[From the beginning, Sam said “I’m going to write down the first page - but the second page, I’m going to leave blank and just say whatever God wants me to say.” This blank box was his signal to do that. He said, “She comforted me more than anyone I know. And I know she’s here with us.”]
Even though I have hope and faith, sometimes I feel scared - especially when I’m alone. When I play the piano, I feel comforted and don’t feel scared anymore.
This song I’m going to play, O Come O Come Emmanuel, is a very special song to our family because of its message of feeling joy, even while we wait to be rescued. And the word “Emmanuel” includes the word Emma.
And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen
Hi Jacob. I really appreciate you making this available to read. Sam was able to put into words a lot of the feelings I’ve had since my daughter passed away 2 years ago. It was very touching, especially coming from such a young, but wise individual. Thanks again for sharing as it was really impactful .
Sam’s remarks made a deep impression on me. I’m glad to be able to revisit them. Thank you for posting!