No one is helped by Americans going to war over health care

However passionate we understandably get over life-and-death questions of health and illness, something precious is lost if we devolve into pervasive resentment and accusation.

Monique with Dr. Amanda Sandoval, our kind neurologist ,and a genetic counselor at Primary Childen’s. Olivia’s definitely not thrilled to be there!

Monique and I returned home from Primary Children’s Medical Center in Salt Lake City not long ago, after receiving exceptional care for our daughter Olivia to help stabilize her body. The flu is hard for any child, but our little one has a serious seizure disorder that heightens the consequences of any passing sickness.

No one really likes to be in a hospital, especially not overnight. But we left feeling so grateful for dedicated doctors and nurses who evaluated and cared for our daughter throughout the night - and their neurology team who have provided invaluable guidance since she was born on how to increase her comfort. From feeding tubes and developmental supports, to the thoughtful guidance month-by-month about a careful usage of anticonvulsant medication, it’s all made a difference for her and us.

Two of the nurses who cared for us at the hospital - these two were especially amazing.

During our daughter’s care, we’ve also been grateful for practitioners whose expertise reaches outside of mainstream medicine - helping identify mold and reduce other environmental toxins likely aggravating Olivia’s seizures. We fixed a problem where some septic gas had been leaking into our home, and did some radon mitigation to reduce radon levels too. We’ve learned how some gentle herbs and oils can also help calm her little nervous system. And meditation has helped my wife Monique find more peace amidst the intensity of caring for a chronically ill child - while nutritional adjustments in her own diet have also made a difference for Olivia.

All this makes us grateful as a family for the benefits that have come from various approaches to healing - integrated into a care package we’ve come to rely on daily. Over and over, we have witnessed how every doctor and nurse we work with - just like every chiropractor and alternative health practitioner - are doing the best they can to help our daughter be well and heal as best as she can.

Daddy’s her favorite, of course - a secret Olivia and I usually keep to ourselves.

It can be confusing, then, to look out at the American conversation about health and see so much suspicion, attacks and distrust - with health concerns becoming yet another vector of strident contention, power struggle, and character attacks.

Some of this makes sense, of course, since so much is at stake in these matters of life and death. But isn’t that all the more reason to bring greater sensitivity, care and respect to what we’re talking about?

Much of the recent mainstream coverage of the RFK Jr. confirmation hearings, for instance, painted the man as some kind of cartoonish buffoon or villain - while other outlets portrayed him as a kind of Gladiator hero taking on the establishment. It’s hard for average Americans looking on in this media spectacle to discern the full truth of what’s actually happening - which is what journalism is supposed to be about.

At the very least, RFK Jr. embodies the questions many Americans really do hold about our conventional approach to health and healing - while those raising concerns about his stances reflect genuine questions many others still sincerely hold.

What if we really trusted ourselves to hear both sides and see what we could learn? In a commentary two years ago, I argued for the value of preserving more public trust in the positive motives of public figures - suggesting that, for instance, perhaps people ought to trust that Bill Gates really means what he says, rather than falling so quickly into invective about hidden, nefarious motives presumably driving him (or RFK Jr.) or anyone else.

Olivia’s brothers have been simply remarkable, and a central part of her care over the last year. Some of them have plead with us to stay up with her at night so we can sleep more!

Instead of portraying any of these health figures in dark, sinister overtones, what would it mean to assume they all really do want what’s best in improving American health, albeit coming from very different perspectives on what it would take to get there. Instead of portraying significant disagreements - wherever they exist - in constantly dark and dramatic overtones, this would mean treating these many questions as deserving of a real hearing and serious attention.

If there is anything to be learned from more careful scrutiny of conventional or alternative approaches to health, additional conversation and investigation should allow that - to the benefit of all. And if there are exaggerations and misinformation afoot in either direction, that too should become more apparent through open inquiry.

Sunlight is the best disinfectant, as they say - and bringing things to light could potentially move us all forward, in a country that really is suffering with its health.

The spirit of scientific exploration is also a fearless pursuit of truth - and open investigation in all its forms, as my mentor Brent Slife used to teach us at BYU.

That’s what health challenges do best - they invite us to a deeper humility, where we can dig deeper and reach higher.

Like so many other families facing hard health challenges, we’ve learned as a family so much about faith and love. We’ve learned there are hidden opportunities for growth in even the most serious of challenges.

Could that be true of Americas’ health challenges as a whole? Imagine if these mounting struggles with sickness could ultimately move us forward as a country - towards more humility, rather than less - and more faith and love, rather than a descent into acrimony and cynicism.

I can’t believe the love and goodness I’ve seen in my wife, Monique, these years. Staying up so many nights, and pouring herself day-after-day into Olivia and our boys (and me too!)

In secular America, there’s virtually nothing more important than whether someone lives or dies. But that’s just not true for people of faith - with Jesus teaching his followers anciently to “fear not them which kill the body” - and to instead pay more careful attention to forces which are able to “harm” and “destroy both soul and body.”

There is something even more important than overcoming seizures and sickness and cancer. Despite our little one still struggling mightily, we’ve never felt so much peace, joy and love as a family. We’ve learned for ourselves that there’s something even more important to be gained in these challenges is we’re looking for it.

No one wins if we go to war about health as a country. But maybe there’s something to be gained for all of us by approaching these different perspectives with openness, curiosity and respect.